Prologue- Withered

Warning: depressing.
On the bright side, this is as dark as it’ll get. Nowhere to go from here but up ⬆🐔

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“I’m sorry, Kip. We can’t afford a raise this year. These are hard times – we all have to sacrifice something to get by. Do you understand?”

“Don’t worry, Kip will take care of it. He won’t mind. It’s the least that you can do for us after messing up, right?”

“Oh, and I need you to come in on Sundays for a while. Next month, too. You don’t mind, right?”

“Ugh, of course not. Who’d want to date him? That’s disgusting.”

“Get a grip. It’s just a pet – it’s not like your child died. You need to get this done by tomorrow. Don’t be a burden, Kip.”

“I said all approvals go through me! How hard is that to understand?! You useless, blithering idiot!”

“Worthless. It’s types like you that won’t last long here.”

–

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He’d gazed at that sixty-foot drop just a little too long.

Kip couldn’t do anything right.

It didn’t matter what he did. It made no difference how long he stayed after hours, or how well he helped others with their tasks. It didn’t matter how hard he tried. Kip still disappointed those around him. He still wasn’t good enough. He was still making mistakes, messing up and ruining even the simplest tasks. He was still a waste of space. Barely good enough to file away data.

And, as it turned out… he couldn’t even do that properly.

Egbert was right.

He couldn’t do anything.

Worthless.
Worthless.
Worthless.

Why was he still around?

“My, you look positively withered. Whatever is the matter, dear?”

Kip hadn’t even noticed the sound of approaching footsteps until he looked up. Lifting his head took an inhuman amount of effort, but when he did, he was surprised to see a kind face looking back at him. He had expected to see a store clerk, or maybe an officer coming to shoo him away.

But instead, Kip could see yellow. It was a vibrant colour, the colour of sunflowers, cutting through the dull grey around him like a single ray of sunshine.

An elderly woman stood before him, her dark eyes filled with concern. She was wearing a bright yellow skirt and green coat, which made her stand out even more against the drab surroundings of Bridgeport. Kip could see her slowly taking in the scene before her.
“Are you all right, love? You look pale.”

Kip wasn’t used to people asking about his well-being. He wasn’t used to people calling out to him at all. So when the woman in the bright yellow skirt, green vest, and sunflower earrings approached him with concern, he automatically tried to brush it off, feeling like a burden.
“It… it’s nothing. Sorry to worry you,” he mumbled, his eyes automatically trailing back downwards. He didn’t want to burden anyone with his problems, especially a stranger.

“Hm. I see. Do you mind if I join you, dear?”

Kip didn’t answer – but he didn’t have to. The woman did not wait for permission, plopping herself down right next to him as he glanced away uncomfortably. From the corner of his eye, he could see her looking at him intently.
Then, her expression fell.

“Sweetheart. Talk to me. What’s the matter?”

He’d had a kind old grandma, once.
She’d looked nothing like this woman. But when he’d been a child, whenever Kip ended up crying, or with a scraped knee, whenever his emotions ended up getting the better of him… his grandmother looked at him in exactly the same way.

He couldn’t really believe it. Here he was, a complete stranger to this woman, and yet she showed him more concern and care than anyone had in a long time. Her words echoed in his mind, and he realized that he had never really talked to anyone about how he was feeling. He had always kept his struggles to himself, thinking that no one would care. But this woman’s genuine worry and compassion proved him wrong.

Someone did care.

It was as if a dam had been opened, and all of his pent-up emotions came rushing out at once. Kip couldn’t stop himself.
“I… I can’t do anything right,” he mumbled. “I’m a burden on everyone at the company and I keep making mistakes. Really big ones. No matter what I do. It just… it never works. No matter how hard I try.”

“I’m… so tired.”

“I… see.”

“What’s your name, love?”
“Kip. Kip Booth,” he replied, his voice quiet and hesitant. She nodded at him in response.
“I think I understand your situation. That must be very hard on you, Kip.”
Kip didn’t respond, unsure of how to answer. But he didn’t need to. The woman next to him kept talking, her voice soft and gentle.
“Would you like some advice from an old woman?”

Kip gave a hesitant nod, not entirely sure what to expect. He had heard advice before from colleagues, all of which never seemed to work for him. He braced himself for yet another unhelpful suggestion about time management or exercise or waking up earlier. However, to his surprise, the woman’s advice was different.

“I wasn’t joking when I said you look withered, dear. I think you’re long overdue for a change.”

“I’ve… I’ve tried. It’s not working-“
“Not that kind of change, love,” the woman said, gently interrupting him. “I mean a change in soil. Sometimes, the problem isn’t with us, but with the surroundings that we find ourselves in. Ol’ Agatha knows – Poppy flowers like you don’t grow well in concrete,” she continued. “You need lots of earth and sunlight.”
“Sunlight?”
“Of course. All living things need sunlight. How often have you been outside lately?”

Kip didn’t answer. He didn’t have to. It seemed like she already knew the answer.
“How would you feel about taking a holiday?” Agatha asked, smiling. “You probably haven’t had time off in months.”
“I haven’t, but-”
“Wonderful,” she said, not allowing him to finish his sentence. “That’s a good place to start. I know a lovely little place that would be just perfect for you. It’s called Henford-on-Bagley. It’s a lovely little town with lots of greenery and a cosy pub. And no nasty concrete anywhere. You’d love it. How would you feel about visiting there?”
“I don’t think-”
But once again, she didn’t let him finish, playfully interrupting Kip mid-word.
“Now, now. Hush, love. You trust ol’ Agatha on this.”

Part of him wanted to. It was a small, severely neglected part that was on the verge of snapping – but a much larger part immediately silenced those thoughts, smothering them with guilt.
“I… I don’t know,” he muttered. “We’re right in the middle of the busiest season. I can’t just… It’s not allowed to… they need me,” he concluded, awkwardly looking away. He could see Agatha nod at him from the corner of his eye.
“I’m sure they do. But right now is not about what they need, sweetheart. It is about what you need.”

“And I think we both know that it’s not concrete.”

At that moment, Kip could suddenly feel his pocket start to buzz. It was the alarm he had set for the end of his break, signalling that it was time for him to return to work. He felt a twinge of anxiety, knowing that he should leave immediately.

“I’m sorry, Agatha. I have to go back to work,” Kip said, giving the elderly woman an apologising smile. “It’s been really nice talking to you.”
Even as he spoke, he felt the urge to respond to work emails and check his schedule, the thought of taking a holiday promptly slipping away into the background of his mind. Agatha’s frown returned.
“Of course, dearie. Off you pop. But think about what ol’ Agatha said today, all right?”
“…all right. I will.”

–

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–

“That’ll be six simoleons.”

“Anything else?”
“No… no, thank you,” Kip said, trying to smile politely. He got a cold, uncaring stare in return.
“Aight. Enjoy your coffee. Come back soon or whatever.”

Kip sheepishly grabbed the drink and energy bar, having just finished paying at the register. He knew he shouldn’t snack this much. He could probably stand to lose a few pounds, too. But he couldn’t help it. Sugar was the best thing to keep him going during the week.

It wasn’t until he’d already turned around, ready to exit the building and start his walk back to the office, that Kip noticed something he hadn’t before.

His eyes fell on a small bouquet of sunflowers in a vase. The colour contrast was staggering. They were so vibrant and cheery, standing out among the drab supermarket surroundings. Kip could feel himself being drawn to them. At first, he didn’t really realise why—

“Would you like some advice from an old woman? I think you’re long overdue for a change.”

He hadn’t noticed.

Kip hadn’t realised that, with her kind words and gentle expression, Agatha had planted something inside of him. Something that hadn’t been there before. A tiny seed of change, slumbering and waiting to be watered and grow.

He was so tired.

But…

He couldn’t.

Kip couldn’t just leave them behind for so long. They were counting on him. He had deadlines to keep- if he didn’t, Kip would drag down everyone around him. He’d get yelled at. He’d get humiliated in front of the whole office again. He couldn’t be a burden – he just had to work harder.

He just…

“Right now, it is about what you need.”

Deep down, Kip knew that Agatha was right. He really was withering. Slowly but surely, day by day. If he kept going like this, then eventually… there would be nothing of him left.

He’d never had a stranger care about him that much.
Kip hadn’t received that much kindness in a very, very long time.

As Kip stared at the sunflower in front of him, eyes fixated on the yellow of the leaves as he was lost in thought… that little seed, that Agatha had so carefully planted…

Slowly began to sprout.

“Actually… do you sell train tickets here?”

“Sure do. Where you goin’?”
“Henford. Henford-on-Bagley.”

“I, uh…”

“I think I’m going on a trip.”